I NEED A CAMERA. PART 2

Trusting that you are doing well.


I had a good session with some of you about getting ourselves a quality camera to take snaps of our characters and review whether or not we are emulating our Lord Jesus Christ. The continuation of this topic is due to your request, and I am here to honor it.

I realised that there is much i can say about our characters,and we can all try to make them better with the help of the Holy spirit who teaches us(John 14:26).

 Today i want us to go through the friendship sector and have a look at the images we have of ourselves concerning this sector. Towards the end of last year,I came across many posts on social media of people claiming to walk away from toxic relationships and letting people go since those who were meant to stay would stay. I was supporting the trend in every bit of it until one day as i was reading the story of Nabal and how his wife took the initiative of apologising on behalf of her husband because he was surly and so mean (1 Samuel 25)

This got me thinking, is it possible that we are so ignorant not to understand that we also have toxic traits or is it that we are so full of pride not to accept that we can also contribute to our failures and broken relationships.

With that, I made a resolution in my mind not to ever blame others for the broken relationships that I have
had. I realised that in one way or the other , I contributed to its failure. As the famous saying goes, "It takes two people to tangle," i will spice it up and add,that "it also takes two to break up."

For the longest time now,we have been pointing fingers not realising that 4 others have been pointing back at us. We need to take a 'selfie'  in this department and ask ourselves whether the image is satisfying, or we have an ambiance of selfishness and pride which has filled our hearts and souls.

Take your camera along, lets take some pictures and then do a review of them. Come along.

💞 Do you check up on them if they don't?
💞 Do you listen to understand or to respond?
💞 Do you interrupt their talk?
💞 Do you visit them if they don't?
💞 Do you criticize them or appreciate them?
💞 Are you adding value into their lives, if yes,how?

I took an initiative of sharing this idea on my WhatsApp status and I got some really exciting feedback and I will share some of them with their permission. Person 1  told me that they agree that they have toxic traits, and they learnt that too late when everything that mattered had lost. "Toxicity, This word makes me sad at times but I think I learnt the lesson I was meant to learn. I was bitter over my ex for a while and I felt heavy and I couldn't trust someone (both male and female) but I have over time learnt that I was a high contributor to the break up and probably I'd be having a husband right now but due to my high levels of toxicity, I lost him for good but am glad I understood that my levels of toxicity were high and am learning to  be less toxic to myself and others."

As i was sharing with another friend,person 2, i mentioned about keeping quiet when the other person is talking and not cutting them short, she had this to say, "I remember am supposed to wait when my mouth is halfway," this sounds funny right? But trust me its very irritating. This can cost you a good friend. We all know that it is not that an easy task to do, but its a skill that you can  learn.

Do you know someone you would like to change and
regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it, But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others - yes, and a lot less dangerous.  “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is better.

The next time you want to remove people from your life because you think they are toxic, please remember you are not better,you might be the toxic one. It is a high time we emulate David, by searching our hearts and also by allowing God to search them so that he can remove all the toxic traits that will block us from doing and acting according to his will. God will always use people to drive you to your destiny, be careful with how you deal with people.

It will be better if we take a break from spreading the gospel of "toxic friendships," and launch on sincere self inspection initiative, then we will do a review of our findings. It is after the exercise, when we will be able to know who is to stay and who is to leave. I just hope and pray that we will not be the ones who will be termed as toxic by some of our friends who will read this too, am just saying.

With love.